Blended Families

I want you to think of your family structure growing up. Were your parents separate or together? Did you have a step parent? A divorce is never easy it is always complicated. It’s complicated for the parents and its complicated on the children. For example, the parents have to have the talk with their children and tell them that they are getting a divorce. When a parent tells their children, they are getting a divorce they are literally tearing up one of the only worlds that child has ever known. I want you to imagine having your parents tell you that they were breaking up. If my parents decided to get a divorce now, even now at the age of twenty I would be heart-broken I don’t think I would know how to act. I think I might even start to think what is love? Having grown up hearing them say “I love you” all the time and then them getting a divorce would be gut-wrenching. Children have a hard time as well some even start to act out. One of my good friend’s parents got a divorce when we were in elementary school and she acted out all the time. It was one of the ways she knew how to get attention from her parents. After all, they were always too busy fighting they never gave her any attention. Even though it may be hard for the parents, but they need to stay in good contact with one another. It is for the benefit of their children their children. One of the reasons it could be so hard because if the father is dating someone and he has to keep in contact with his ex-wife how do you think his girlfriend would feel. It is just very complicated. 

            Not only are divorces hard but they are also very expensive in 2005 the average divorce in California costs 125,000. That is a lot of money! After the parents are split up it takes about two years for the children to use to having two Christmases in a year and only one parent being at their birthday party. It is a very hard obstacle for a child to overcome and two years are being the average for a child to overcome it. Can you imagine having all these family traditions and then all of this sudden you are breaking up the traditions that is heartbreaking as a child. I loved having family traditions growing up. It helped us become more united as a family. Not having a parent there would be a hard thing to overcome.

            When people get a divorce and they marry someone new so then their children have a step parent. It can be complicated for a stepparent to feel welcome into a house where children don’t really like them as much. They often wonder how they fit in with parenting. When really it should just be the biological parent that disciplines the child. This is because the child most of the times won’t listen to the stepparent they might say something like “you aren’t my parent, you can’t tell me what to do.” The stepparent should be equivalent to the aunt or uncle. If they are like a good aunt or uncle, the children are more willing to tell them things and not be so closed off. When the child does this the step parent should counsel with the biological parent and talk about how the child is feeling. These two people are going to have to counsel a lot more than any other couple.