family system

Imagine you are babysitting some children and their parents are not super strict on their rules for their kids. So, their children learn to be free spirits.  You are babysitting these kids and they are jumping form couch to couch, and hanging upside down from their bunkbeds. You then tell them to stop because you don’t want to take a trip to the ER. They don’t listen, and while that is going on the other kids are throwing cheese balls at one another making a Cheetos mess! You are now kind of freaking out because nobody is listening to you. When there are limited rules the family is not as strong as it could be. Families function off of rules. Rules are a very important necessity in a family. Without them children will learn to walk all over their parents.  Lots of the time rules are not posted on the wall like what chores you have to do for the week. In my family we had rules like keeping our cellphones in the kitchen when we had to go to bed. (so we would not stay up on our phones all night.) Or being home by curfew every night knowing if I missed it I would get grounded. Knowing that if I didn’t follow the rules there would be consequences. One of the big rules was not talking back to my mom and dad. Sometimes as young teens me and my siblings did not follow this rule very well. After all, we were teens and thought we were always right. When we didn’t follow this rule, you would notice it throughout the whole house, everybody was moody and not happy. You know the saying “when moms not happy nobodies happy” it is very true how somebodies attitude can change other people’s attitudes.

             Everybody has a different perspective on how families should be, but I think families are kind of like a system. For example, if you don’t have oil in your car then, you will run into some serious issues, and it will mess up your engine. If mom and dad aren’t getting along it then has a huge impact on the rest of the family. I have seen this in my own life, one of my friend’s parents were always arguing. It then made their children act out because the parents weren’t giving them the attention they needed. If one part of the “System” in the family acts out it impacts the whole thing. Growing up I would get into an argument with my sister and it would just put a depressing vibe out on everything. I then figured out at a young age that arguing never fixes anything talking it through nicely works, but arguing never works. Moms and dads have a big part in keeping the family together they have such a big impact on children and how they will turn out. Something my mom and dad has always told me was to “remember who you are and that your actions represent the Fox family.”

 Just the other day I was at a grocery store and I was waiting in line the checkout line and this little five-year-old was crying and throwing a tantrum. I was not really shocked, because that is when the mother paid more attention to her then to her phone. I Think parents should limit themselves the amount of technology they use so they can give more attention to their children. I understand that you get busy. Everyone has busy lives but your children need to know that you are listening and paying attention to them.